The very first time I tried any type of cave diving was at Shark's Cove on the North Shore of Hawaii. Back then, I wasn't even a freediver yet, and to be honest, I felt pretty nervous about being in the ocean. Despite that fear, I was fascinated by freediving. I remember thinking how cool the freedivers looked in their underwater photos and videos—so calm, collected, and peaceful. I felt like I could never be like that. I never imagined I would one day call myself a freediver. 

There was something about the stillness of the ocean and the way freedivers moved, weightless and unhurried, that captivated me. It wasn’t just a desire to swim—I wanted to understand what made them so calm. I got curious. What would it feel like if…. 

So anyway, my very first introduction to cave diving happened at the Blue Room at Shark’s Cove. I met up with a friend of a friend after asking my buddy Kristian if he knew anyone I could dive with. He connected me with his best friend, and we arranged a time and day to meet. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had no idea what kind of person his friend was or even what he looked like, but I trusted that everything would work out.

When we finally met, I immediately told him that I wasn’t yet freediver-certified because I hadn’t passed my initial tests. He didn’t seem phased at all. He just said, “It’s all good. You’ll be fine.” At that point, I didn’t know how true his words would turn out to be. Then he brought me to the middle of a dried up lava field with a little cave opening that he told me we had to swim through.

“YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!” I thought.

But in his calm voice, he reassured me, “It’s ok, it’s only like 15-20 seconds to the other side. You can do it.”

I tried to quiet my racing thoughts as we got into the water at the cave’s opening. The water rose and fell with the tide. Seeing the movement of the water didn’t help calm me down. “Fuck. I HAVE to do this. This guy took time out of his day off to take someone he didn’t even know diving,” I thought.

He told me to take my time and do a breath-up. I took a deep breath, not just to get ready to hold my breath but to calm myself down.

He advised me to time it so the water would help push me in instead of swimming against it. At that moment, I was still unsure, but after taking some time to breathe up, I made my first attempt. But my fin hit the top of the cave and came off. (I have tiny feet, and my foot pockets aren’t completely snug, even with fin socks.) I panicked and turned around, and he grabbed my fin for me.

“It’s ok. Try again,” he said. His calmness, once again, steadied me.

I don’t know if he could see the panic I was trying so hard to hide, but I put my fins back on and did another breath-up.

I didn’t grow up in the water. I didn’t grow up swimming. I actually took swimming lessons as an adult.

As I prepared for my second attempt, I reminded myself: It’s not the absence of fear that allows us to grow—it’s the curiosity that pushes us to ask, “What if I could?” And sometimes, all it takes is a calm voice beside you, reminding you that you’re capable of more than you think.

This time, determined not to give up, I went under and was able to swim all the way through the cave.

As I swam across, something unexpected happened—the cave wasn’t as dark and foreboding as I had imagined. The blue light from the other side began to filter through, illuminating the space around me. The water glowed with a soft, ethereal light, and what had once seemed like a frightening obstacle transformed into something beautiful. It was such a breathtaking sight, one I never expected in the midst of my fear. That glow lit up the cave, and with it, my whole perception shifted.

Let me tell you, I’ve never felt prouder of myself for conquering something I thought I could never do. Btw, it was longer than 15-20 seconds. It was more like 30 seconds. Which I wasn’t sure I could hold my breath for longer than that.

In that moment, the cave seemed to change.

The cave, dark and unwelcoming, felt like a reflection of my own self-doubt. But once I moved through it, I realized the darkness was never as terrifying as it seemed—it was simply a space waiting to be explored.

What struck me most wasn’t just the accomplishment, but the calm confidence of someone who didn’t even know me, believing I could do it. His unshakeable calmness gave me the space to quiet my fears and trust myself more than I ever had before. **It became clear to me that this was more than just a dive.** It was a reminder of how much we can grow when we surround ourselves with those who see beyond our self-doubt.

Later, I learned that I wasn’t alone in my struggle. It made me feel even prouder when my new friend told me that Kristian couldn’t do it the first time he brought him there.

Emerging from the other side of the cave, I felt like I had left my doubts behind in that dark tunnel. What I thought was impossible was only a story I had told myself. By replacing fear with curiosity, I discovered just how capable I truly was.